In the wake of my last birthday in my 20’s, I have fully realized the effects of a gradual, eventual, less expectation on everything.
I say this because since my 10th birthday, which totally rocked, birthday celebration has become a year after year of eating, drinking, and forgetting. I am such a downer indeed, but it was true. Because my 10th birthday party was so great, nothing could have topped it, ever. If I may go a little back into my childhood memory and document this tonight – I still remember sitting with my mom by our cold, granite dinning table folding birthday hats. There were plates of my favorite treats, not a whole lot, but enought to make me happy knowing that my best friends will soon come and enjoy them with me! I turned 10 that day, and the whole house turned into a party for me, for me, and only for me! We played video games, jumped on beds and had a big pillow fight. My mom let me do it all, and that was better than anything in the whole wide world – those little things, laughters that come not because of some sarcastic humor, for knowing too much or too little of things that don’t matter, but because of just being, just being a kid.
I wonder what happiness is, was, then. Is life itself just a deterioration, a contant fall from heaven. And now, writing things that make me feel down actually somehow makes me feel a little happier, knowing that I’ve had it all, right there and then.
Hello people. I’m new to this blog but was wondering if members could help me by answering a few questions. I’m starting a project in which I aim to use basic fears and longings in people to create paintings which make them feel uncomfortable or disturbed in a very subtle manner. I also plan on using imagery from dreams to understand what it is that scares people. Don’t think I’m a saddist or anything I’m just very interested the mind and think that this project could teach me a lot about how to communicate ideas through the noble language of art. I would really appreciate it if anyone could answer any of the following questions as I’m trying to understand the majority and need other experiences on which to draw:
– Have you ever had a nightmare which was terifying in your sleep but not at all when you thought about it later? If so can you describe what you saw?
– Describe to me what you regard in your mind as the most comfortable and happy landscape eg. Is it beach is it grassland, urban/ rural
– Do you have recurring motifs in your nightmares eg. A certain kind of monster or a certain object
If you have too much time on your hands, that is, you have been checking your empty email box for the fifth time in the last 30 seconds for junk mails, already rearranged your furnitures for the second time today, or insistently checking yourself out in the mirror for the slightly hints of that upcoming pimple, then, perhaps it’s about time you do something more productive – go to not pr0n and try to solve its famous, ridiculously difficult and time-consuming riddles, all 135 levels of them. I am glad to say that I made to level 3 without cheating, then I realize, I have better things to do, like rearranging my furnitures for one more time.
