The Heartbreak Kid

Writings — Kohn @ 12:56 am
 

At the speed of 112 miles per hour on an interstate highway, his car felt like a machine that floated just slightly above ground. He was excited for the first two minutes when he broke 100, but now he was bored. Tall but dim light posts receded in silence ever so consistently, creating a horizontal drape of fleeing light streaks all around his machine. And so he pressed a little harder on the paddle, maybe he could then create an artificial wall, a wall of monotone lights. Maybe such an achievement would excite him. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so bored in this ride.  

He’s now in the woods, somewhere in Rhode Island traveling south. He’d got to get to New York City tonight. He’d got to get to New York because he had chosen it to be the destination for this night. In fact, he had only decided so when she said, “would you get me back to New York?” before falling asleep in the passenger seat. He’d picked her up on the street, like a hooker, or a hitchhiker, a friend, perhaps. He was only heading home, and now, he would live his life anew.

It was 127 miles per hour now, and he felt like flying. His car quivered from time to time from a kind of calm ecstasy. He turned off the music so he could hear the sound of the tires burning against the road. And her breathing, of course, in its short and uneven tempo – she must be having a dream. So he wanted to hear the exhaling of her unconscious, and that was all.

But then he realized that the God damn siren was also there, following behind him at a constant, respectable distance. That boring and repetitive sound of chase! Why couldn’t they just talk to him? Just speak through the loud speaker instead. Ask him to pull aside, to slow down, to surrender. Just a human voice of request would do. He knew he would respond to any request unconditionally. A request, a plea for reciprocity is always worth dying for. He did earlier this night for that girl.

So he would not stop anymore. The spotlight had turned on from the helicopter above, illuminating the road ahead to New York. He was still stuck in Rhode Island. But he knew he would not stop, until his tires burned and they finally flew together.

Thus Spoken

Uncategorized — Kohn @ 5:48 pm

But I shouldn’t have.  I am doing this now, because I know no one is reading this.  And yet, indeed, I want somebody to read it.  Perhaps many months, many years later.  This is to document the ridicule that I put myself into.

A friend of mine said that I am clouded by my emotions and such is true.  Time and time again, I subject myself to exaggerated feelings only so that I feel alive.  Miserable, but alive.  And he also said I should write, for it is a way in which I release my emotions and come down back to rationality.  That is a goal that I shall attempt now.

This entry has no meaning.  It only serves as yet the beginning of the last cycle.  I am sure of it.  I have come close to know who I am, albeit unable to control the continual alteration of this image that I have come to understand.  But I have a website, I have a blog, and I will write here.  Like a college freshman having so much to say.  At least I have a domain, and it will continue to morph until one day someone comes along that shuts me up completely.

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